Hello, my name is Lily. I am a girl. I am 12 years old. I like play basketball and listen music. I has many friends. They are very friendly and fun. I want to be a doctor when I grow up. That's all.
本文所有图片均来自AI绘图
句子结构错误：第二句话中的“like play basketball”应该改为“like playing basketball”。
语法错误：第三句话中的“has”应该改为“have”。
表达不清楚：第五句话中的“fun”应该改为“funny”。
Hello, my name is Lily. I am a girl. I am 12 years old. I like playing basketball and listening to music. I have many friends. They are very kind and funny. When I grow up, I want to be a doctor. That's all.
Hello, my name is Lily. I am a 12-year-old girl who enjoys playing basketball and listening to music. I have many friends who are kind and funny. In the future, I aspire to become a doctor. Thank you for listening.
Good day, esteemed audience, I am Lily, a vivacious 12-year-old girl who finds joy in playing basketball and relishing in the melodies of music. My vast network of friends is made up of individuals who exude kindness and humor. I am fervent about pursuing a career in medicine, with the ultimate goal of making a difference in the world. I appreciate your attention and thank you for listening.
使用了更加高级的单词和短语，同时通过使用形容词和副词来增强句子的表达力和美感。
还有一位网友家的男孩子的作文：
My name is Jack. I like eat pizza and play basketball. My father is a engineer, he is very busy every day. I want to be a doctor, because I want help people.
句子结构错误：第二句话中的“like eat pizza”应该改为“like to eat pizza”。
语法错误：第三句话中的“a engineer”应该改为“an engineer”。
用词不当：第四句话中的“very busy”应该改为“always busy”。
表达不清楚：第五句话中的“because I want help people”表达不够清晰。
My name is Jack. I like to eat pizza and play basketball. My father is an engineer, and he is always busy with work. When I grow up, I want to become a doctor because I want to help people.
Greetings, esteemed audience, my name is Jack. As a young and energetic individual, I find great pleasure in indulging in the scrumptious delights of pizza and engaging in the exhilarating sport of basketball. My father, a distinguished engineer, leads a life of constant hustle and bustle. As for my future aspirations, I am compelled by the noble profession of medicine, as I yearn to make a positive impact on the lives of people in need.
同时，通过使用复合句和介词短语，使句子更加复杂和连贯。
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jack, a young and adventurous soul with a penchant for the delectable flavors of pizza and the fierce competition of basketball. My father, an esteemed engineer, is a man of great ambition and tireless diligence. As for my future aspirations, my heart beats to the rhythm of medicine, as I am drawn to the noble calling of healing and compassion, driven by a desire to leave a positive impact on the world.
同时通过使用形容词和副词来增强句子的表达力和美感。
掌握写作最好的途径：多写、多改、多练。
如果你孩子也正在练习写作文，
请把他的作文拍下来发给我吧。
我帮你像上面这篇文章一样，
免费精细化修改，
一步步帮助孩子掌握高分写作能力。
你需要做的，就是把这篇文章发到朋友圈，
让更多朋友能享受孩子作文水平飞升的福利。
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Jon老师，二十年英语教育教学经验，创办全英语儿童图书馆，全英语国际幼儿园，英语学校，儿童英语剧院等。
帮助几千学生快速提高作文能力。
PS：纽带夏令营（4-7岁）和高阶能力营（7-10岁）火热进行中，欢迎咨询哈。
PS again：
我发现只要会读字母，音标就不用学，
自然拼读也就会了大半，因为26个字母读音里，
本身就藏着大部分音标呢，关键就是要把声音拆开来。
学生单词记忆自然拼读训练软件APP暑假孩子自学自然拼读训练神器，自然拼读课程性价比之王。了解下哈
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